Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
