who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize