His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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