come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
