I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
