i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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