Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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