I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.