What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
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Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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