We got so high we made milksteak
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
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Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single