Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone