Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She just used a chaser for red wine.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE