At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
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i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
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There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.