I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
