I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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