I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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