i jhust puked up my retainher.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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