It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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