dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
