He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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