dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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