Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i did. i'm using it as a microphone.

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  (703): maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking. (859): i did. i'm using it as a microphone. http://tfl.nu/mm1q
  Replies (8) Good night (3031) Bad night (620)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I'm scared

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.

  (972): View more from Texas

  That's what I'm afraid of

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  (972): I'm scared (337): There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size. (972): That's what I'm afraid of http://tfl.nu/7af7
  Replies (16) Good night (747) Bad night (3800)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?

  (206): View more from Washington

  joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!

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  (206): remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine? (206): joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?! http://tfl.nu/ignl
  Replies (13) Good night (2037) Bad night (636)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!

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  (303): Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties! http://tfl.nu/mly2
  Replies (12) Good night (843) Bad night (4674)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1914) Bad night (8086)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk

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  (801): just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk http://tfl.nu/d8b4
  Replies (75) Good night (9609) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

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  (914): Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting." http://tfl.nu/dhfp
  Replies (27) Good night (4153) Bad night (2037)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.

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  (306): Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off. http://tfl.nu/xf2g
  Replies (10) Good night (4198) Bad night (997)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.

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  (267): just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go. http://tfl.nu/i3o2
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (2466)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".

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  (780): just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency". http://tfl.nu/5vs5
  Replies (7) Good night (3189) Bad night (705)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"

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  (917): If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia" http://tfl.nu/fadd
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  151 hangover. Need apocalypse.

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  (330): 151 hangover. Need apocalypse. http://tfl.nu/xu7i
  Replies (3) Good night (1002) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.

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  (308): It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near. http://tfl.nu/2ey3
  Replies (1) Good night (651) Bad night (258)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.

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  (818): Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks. http://tfl.nu/qq35
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.

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  (415): I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids. http://tfl.nu/608j
  Replies (2) Good night (663) Bad night (224)

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