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• (650): View more from California

  apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again

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• (914): View more from New York

  i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.

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  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.

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• (518): View more from New York

  I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands

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• (818): View more from California

  ...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I think there was chlamydia in those woods.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.

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  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Thanks bro

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle

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