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• (813): View more from Florida

  I can't find my pants or my car

  (813): View more from Florida

  I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...

  (561): View more from Florida

  ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  another moral hangover. fuck.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

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• (518): View more from New York

  Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.

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• (760): View more from California

  I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"

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