sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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