do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
