So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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