Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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