i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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