Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
