and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize