I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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