used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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