If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
