She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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