I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
