My hand turned me down
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
