he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
