Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
