So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
