i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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