I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
