Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
