I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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