This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
