I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize