I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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