If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize