Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
