i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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