Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also, beer. Big fan.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there