Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.