Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(314): Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours. (1-314): Man I wish I had been there (314): Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again. http://tfl.nu/g53a

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(805): View more from California

i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.

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(805): i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog. http://tfl.nu/tph4

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(402): View more from Nebraska

lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

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(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce (1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE. http://tfl.nu/loe7

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(705): View more from Ontario

Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence

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(705): Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence http://tfl.nu/779y

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed

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(412): I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed http://tfl.nu/d0u5

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(310): View more from California

Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.

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(310): Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused. http://tfl.nu/xlj4

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(310): View more from California

Slut skills are useful in every country.

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(310): Slut skills are useful in every country. http://tfl.nu/pvtq

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(308): View more from Nebraska

I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.

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(308): I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose. http://tfl.nu/x4bb

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(206): View more from Washington

My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.

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(206): My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'. http://tfl.nu/39kt

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.

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(724): I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more. http://tfl.nu/i8a4

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.

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(202): After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/vjgb

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(615): View more from Tennessee

What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job

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(615): What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job http://tfl.nu/r059

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(707): View more from California

nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.

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(707): nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids. http://tfl.nu/kj6p

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(817): View more from Texas

I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?

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(817): I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help? http://tfl.nu/m7i3

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(770): View more from Georgia

I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..

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(770): I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair.. http://tfl.nu/10ie

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