Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm gonna cum garlic butter