I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward