is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
