I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize