yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
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