dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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