You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
