i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
