the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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