Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
