Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
