i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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