I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
bring money and cleavage
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
