It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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