Sry I called you an 8
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
