Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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