with your own penis?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
