oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
