i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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