how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
