Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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