So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
