So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
